Thursday, July 10, 2025
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Bank Scams This Elderly Woman But Her Response Is The Perfect Payback

Have you ever felt like your bank is too big and impersonal? Here’s how one 86 year old woman took matters into her own hands after she got tricked by the bank into paying a fee. Below is the actual letter that she sent to her bank. The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published.


Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month.

By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.

My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters,- when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overarching, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.

My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.

Please find attached an Application Contract which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know about as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.

I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.

As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further.

When you call me, press the buttons as follows:

IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING, PRESS THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH

#1. To make an appointment to see me
#2. To query a missing payment.
#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
#4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in the case I am sleeping.
#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not home.
#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.

The password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.

#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact will then be on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.
#10. This is a second reminder to press (*) for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

Your Humble Client

And remember: Don’t make old people mad. We don’t like being old in the first place, so it doesn’t take much to p!ss us off.

The Best Gift A Mom Could Receive From Her Little Girl. This Is Priceless.

Imagine a gift that never expires, that never goes away, that a mother could carry with her for the rest of her life. A gift that is irreplaceable, unchangeable, and very, very real. Read this story and go hug your children today.


The story goes that some time ago a mother punished her 5 year old daughter for wasting a roll of expensive wrapping paper. Money was tight and she became even more upset when the child used the gold paper to decorate a box.

Nevertheless, the little girl brought the gift box to her mother the next morning and said, This is for you, Mamma.”

The mother was embarrassed by her earlier over reaction, but her anger flared again when she opened the box and found it was empty.

She spoke to her daughter in a harsh manner. “Don’t you know, young lady, when you give someone a present there’s supposed to be something inside the package?”

She had tears in her eyes and said, “Oh, Mamma, it’s not empty! I blew kisses into it until it was full.”

The mother was crushed. She fell on her knees and put her arms around her little girl, and she begged her forgiveness for her thoughtless anger.

An accident took the life of the child only a short time later, and it is told that the mother kept that gold box by her bed for all the years of her life. Whenever she was discouraged or faced difficult problems she would open the box and take out an imaginary kiss and remember the love of the child who had put it there.

In a very real sense, each of us, as human beings, have been given a Golden box filled with unconditional love and kisses from our children, family, friends and God. There is no more precious possession anyone could hold.

A Boy At School Snapped Her Bra. What She Did Next Is Gold.

This story will get you fired up, but I’m certain you’ll be satisfied with the outcome. A female student stands up for her rights and refuses to be bullied…and when the Mom arrives – she defends her daughter’s actions perfectly! Women should not have to deal with these situations, so why allow this to happen to children?

Read on below…


I’m an Emergency Room nurse and we’re not allowed to have our phones on us; they’re to be kept in our lockers. A call comes into hospital reception on a private line for me.

Phone: “This is [Teacher] from [School]. There’s been an incident involving [Daughter]. We need you to come in.”

Me: “Is she ill or injured? Can it wait until my shift is over in two hours?”

Phone: “[Daughter] has struck another student. We’ve been trying to call you for 45 minutes. It really is very serious.”

I go to the school and am ushered into the Principal’s office. I see my daughter, her advisor, a male teacher, the principal, a boy with blood around his nose and a red face, and his parents.

Principal: “Mrs. [My Name], how kind of you to FINALLY join us!”

Me: “Yeah, things get busy in the ER. I’ve spent the last hour administering over 40 stitches to a seven-year-old who was beaten by his mother with a metal ladle and then I had to deal with the police regarding the matter. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

(After watching him try to not act embarrassed, he tells me what has happened. The boy had snapped my daughter’s bra and she had punched him in the face… twice. I got the impression they were more angry with my daughter than the boy.)

Me: “Oh. And you want to know if I’m going to press charges against him for sexually assaulting my daughter and against the school for allowing him to do it?”

(They all get jittery when I mention sexual assault and start speaking at once.)

Teacher: “I don’t think it was that serious.”

Advisor: “Let’s not over-react.”

Principal: “I think you’re missing the point.”

(The boy’s mother then starts crying. I turn to my daughter to find out what happened.)

Daughter: “He kept snapping my bra. I asked him to stop but he didn’t, so I told Mr. [Teacher]. He told me to ‘ignore it.’ [Boy] did it again and undid my bra so I hit him. Then he stopped.”

(I turn to the teacher.)

Me: “You let him do this? Why didn’t you stop him? Come over here and let me touch the front of your trousers.”

Teacher: “What?! No!”

Me: “Does that seem inappropriate to you? Why don’t you go and pull on Mrs. [Advisor]’s bra right now. See how fun it is for her. Or on that boy’s mother’s bra. Or mine. You think just because they’re kids it’s fun?”

Principal: “Mrs. [My Name]. With all due respect, [Daughter] still beat another child.”

Me: “No. She defended herself against a sexual attack from another pupil. Look at them; he’s nearly 6 feet and 160 pounds. She’s 5 feet and 84 pounds. He’s a foot taller than her and twice as heavy. How many times should she have let him touch her? If the person who was supposed to help and protect her in a classroom couldn’t be bothered, what should she have done? He pulled her bra so hard it came undone.”

(The boy’s mom is still crying and his dad looks both angry and embarrassed. The teacher won’t make eye contact with me. I look at the principal.)

Me: “I’m taking her home. I think the boy has learned his lesson. And I hope nothing like this ever happens again, not only to [Daughter], but to any other girl at this school. You wouldn’t let him do it to a member of staff so what makes you think he can do it to a girl of 15 is beyond me. I will be reporting this to the school administrators. And if you—” *turning to the boy* “—EVER touch my daughter again I WILL have you arrested for sexual assault. Do you understand me?”

I was so angry, I gathered my daughter’s things and left. I reported it to the School Board, several of whom I know, and was assured it would be strongly dealt with.

My daughter was put into a different class for that subject, away from the teacher and the boy.

This Child Was Freezing With No Coat Or Shoes. You’ll Be In Tears When You See Who Helps.

As a social experiment, this young boy was on the street in NY only wearing a t-shirt and no shoes….in 5 degree weather! But you’ll be amazed how many people walk by and the child receives no help for two hours.

As society has become suspicious, are they also overlooking those with real needs? The one who helps is the one who understands the most – and he received a blessing he wasn’t expecting.

Part of my heart dies knowing that no one stopped to help…until a poor homeless man comes along to offer assistance. Thank you to the kind gentleman who took the time to care for this young man!

What Is Your Guardian Angel Trying To Tell You?

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Your guardian angel watches over you and protects you. What is their important message for you?

Check back daily for new quizzes, jokes and fun!

Nervous Woman Goes On Dinner Date. What Happens Next Had Me Laughing Uncontrollably!

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A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.

They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water.

Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn’t loud,but everyone at the table heard the pouf.

Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet and said in a rather stern voice, “Skippy!”.

The woman thought, “This is great!” and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again. This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip.

The father again looked and the dog and yelled, “Dammit Skippy!” Once again the woman smiled and thought “Yes!”.

A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing!

Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled…

“Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she sh*ts on you!”

***

How embarrassing! Can you imagine? So does anyone have any other advice for meeting your partner’s parents for the first time? If so, please share!

Married Man Sends His Pregnant Lover Away. Her Postcard To Him Is Priceless.

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For several years, a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant.

Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, he promised that he would pay her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child.

Furthermore, if she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18.

She agreed, but she asked how he would know when the baby was born.

To keep it discreet, he advised her to simply mail him a post card, and write ‘Spaghetti’ on the back. He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin.

One day, about nine months later, he came home to his confused wife.

Honey, she said, “You received a very strange postcard today.”

“Oh, just give it to me and I’ll explain it later,” he replied.

The wife obeyed, and watched her husband as he read the card. He turned white and fainted.

On the card was written:

“Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs. Two without.”

Little Boy Shocks His Mom By Doing THIS At Taco Bell. He Leaves Everyone In Awe.

My three year old son had a lot of problems with potty training; and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.

While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course, I checked my seven month old daughter, and she was clean. The I realized that Matt had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him and he said, “No.”

I kept thinking, “Oh Lord, that child has had an accident and I didn’t have any clothes with me.” Then I said, “Matt, are you sure you did not have an accident?

“No,” he replied.

I just knew that he must have, because the smell was getting worse. Sooooo….I asked one more time, “Matt, did you have an accident?”

Matt jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled…. “SEE, MOM, IT’S JUST FARTS!!!” While 100 people nearly choked to death on their tacos, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down to eat his food as if nothing happened. I was mortified!

Some kind elderly people made me feel a lot better, when they came over and thanked me for the best laugh they had ever had!!!

Another old gentleman stopped us in the parking lot as we were leaving, bent over to my son and said, “Don’t worry son, my wife accuses me of the same thing all the time…I just never had the nerve to make the point like you did.

Paramedics Were Called To Help This Woman. But Nobody Expected To See This.

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Lisa Collins, 24, a resident of Austin, Texas, was visiting her grandparents over the summer, and while visiting she decided to get them some groceries at a nearby HEB supermarket.

Several people noticed her sitting in her red sports car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been shopping in the store for a while became concerned when he was walking back to his truck. So he walked over to the her car. This time he noticed that Lisa’s eyes were now open and very big, and she looked very panicked.

So he knocked on her window and asked her if she was okay, and Lisa replied that she’d been shot in the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour and a half.

The man immediately called the paramedics, who broke in the car window because the doors were locked and Lisa refused to remove her hands from her head.

When they finally got in, they found that Lisa had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. Here’s what really happened…

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to hold her brains in for over an hour and half until someone noticed and came to her aid.

Lisa is blonde.

4 Year Old Boy Dials 911. When The Officer Finds Out Why, He Gives The Perfect Response.

This 4 year old boy was having a trouble, so he thought he should do what his mother always said if he was ever in need of help…just call the police. Check out the video and see what happens…

So what was the boy’s main issue? It was his math homework. Luckily, the 911 dispatcher that picked up the phone was a good sport and actually tried to help.

This Young Woman Marries An Old Man. But She Never Expected This On Her First Night!

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Since her new husband is so old, Jenny decides that after their wedding she and Roger should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Jenny prepares herself for bed and the expected knock on the door.

Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Roger, her 85 year old groom, ready for action. They unite as one.

All goes well, Roger takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Jenny hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it’s Roger.

Again he is ready for more ‘action’. Somewhat surprised, Jenny consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Roger kisses his bride, bids her a fond good night and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha, you guessed it – Roger is back again, rapping on the door and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more ‘action’.

And, once more they enjoy each other. But as Roger gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him, ‘I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Roger.’

Roger, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Jenny and says: ‘You mean I was here already?’

Woman Responds To This Shocking Letter Left By Her Husband. And It’s Perfect.

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A husband wrote the following letter for his wife and left it on the dining room table:

‘To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don’t be upset – I shall be back home before midnight.’

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:

‘To My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you’re at the Comfort Inn, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference…. 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.’