My Top 10 Ways To Give Your Kids A 1970’s Summer

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I remember summer as a kid in the 70’s and it was pretty cool when I think back about it all. Outside till dark, riding bikes without helmets, chasing lighting bugs…wow, so glad I was a kid in the 70’s. In the end, all of us (now) Moms and Dads grew up fine and not too warped! So how can you give your kids a taste of our good life? Here are the top 10 ways to give your kids a 1970’s summer. I double dog dare you to try at least some of these!

1 . Let them watch TV. Plenty of it. But only the TV Land channel.

charlies-angels
I want my kids to watch The Love Boat, The Carol Burnett Show, The Jefferson’s, Charlie’s Angels, My Three Sons, The Bionic Man, $100,000 Pyramid, and my favorite, Hart to Hart. Seriously, what little girl in the late 70’s didn’t want to be an amateur detective married to the CEO of Hart Industries, driving around in a yellow Mercedes-Benz SL Roadstar, while sporting a matching lilac pant suit and perfectly quaffed butterfly winged wavy brown hair?


2. Eat whatever you want, and/or whatever can find.

There will be no more pantries full of organic vegetable chips, and non-GMO graham crackers. No more refrigerators full of anti-pesticide fruit, free range eggs, and cold pressed juice. This will be the summer of Frito-Lay and Red Dye #5. I want to see my kid’s reaction when I tear open a tiny envelope of cherry Kool-Aid, sprinkle it into a BPA laden plastic pitcher, dump 4 cups of regular, granulated, white, and maybe even generic sugar (not raw, stevia, or agave,) then add water from the tap, and viola! You are hydrated! I will be over here drinking a Tab. Lunch will be fried bologna and a blue can of Planter’s Cheese Balls, and for dinner we will pile in the car and go pick up a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken, a styrofoam quart of mashed potatoes, and OMG, dessert will be pineapple upside cake! Made from canned pineapples in…wait for it…syrup!


3. Make them play outside. Like all day. All. Damn. Day.

drink-hose
Hot? Drink from the hose. Run through the sprinklers. Swim in the pool until your hair feels like straw, turns green, and the bottom of your feet are calloused from the bottom of the pool. Search for ladybugs, play hide ‘n seek between the houses, run down the street gutters after a rain storm. Read under a tree. I hear this lady named Judy Blume writes good stuff.


4. Send them to the movies for the entire day.

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I will drop you off at around 11 and pick you up for dinner. Its’ real simple. You sneak from one theater to the next. Nobody cares.


5. Spend three nights in a row at your best friend’s house.

http://notsofancynancy.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/my-dad-and-the-shotgun/
http://notsofancynancy.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/my-dad-and-the-shotgun/

No, you don’t have to call to check in every hour. And yes, it’s totally ok their parents will be at work and nobody will be home all day. It will give you plenty of time for #1, 2, and 3.


6. Make stuff, like from stuff you find.

shell_head
No trips to Hobby Lobby for pre-cut, pre-stuck, pre-fabricated crafts. Find crap in the garage and assemble it into something you can play with. No, you can’t Google how to do it. Ropes are fun.


7. Have them put on a talent show.

dress-up
A real, genuine, sing and dance and entertain the hell out of me talent show. I promise I won’t upload it to Youtube or share it on Facebook. I pinky swear. No, there is no theme, no requirements, no directions, no anything. No, there is no right way to do it. You have an imagination. Please use it.


8. Play the old Simon game until you want to throw it against the wall, or smash into 1,000 pieces.

It’s the original train your brain app.
simon


9. Build a fort in the backyard.

pillow-fort
No, I am not gonna help. Yes, you can use the $125 Pottery Barn Kids duvet cover from your bed. I don’t care anymore. Making a memory trumps 400 thread count cotton.


10. Finally, learn to find the amazing in the ordinary.

70skid
Trust me. You will need this skill in your 40’s. I pinky swear.