Earlier today, a man escaped from the Atlanta prison where he had been doing time for about 14 years. And the first thing he does? He breaks into a house nearby looking for money and supplies and finds a young married couple in bed.
He makes the guy get out of bed and ties him to a chair, while handcuffing the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then immediately gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Honey, this man is an escaped convict, look at his clothes, it’s a orange jumper! He probably spent a very long time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants to make love, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. He is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll hurt us. Be strong, honey. I love you so much.”
To which his wife responds: “It’s OK baby, he wasn’t kissing my neck. He was just whispering in my ear.”
“What did he say?” The husband replied.
“He just told me he was gay, thought you were handsome, and asked me if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”