Michelle Thomas went on a seemingly pleasant date with a man she met online. They had dinner, drinks, and even shared a goodnight kiss.
While Michelle didn’t find the date to be “earth-shattering,” she wrote on her blog, she by no means anticipated the email that appeared in her inbox the next day.
In a very lengthy message, the man, whom she refers to as ‘Simon,’ wrote that while he fancied her mind, face, and personality, he was turned off by her body.
In part, he writes:
“I would marry you like a shot if you were a slip of a girl because what you have in that mind of yours is utterly unique, and I really really love it.”
Rightfully so, Michelle was quite taken aback. He caused her to tear up and — for a moment — question her self worth.
After careful thought and consideration, she responded to his message in a post on her blog.
She told him that it was fine that he wasn’t attracted to her; in fact, it’s just one of those things that happens in life — wishing to find yourself attracted to someone but it’s just not there.
“What isn’t fine,” she writes, “is the fact that, after a few hours in my company, you took the time to write this utterly uncalled-for message… You stirred a dormant fear that every woman who was ever a teenage girl has – that it doesn’t matter how funny you are, how clever, how kind, how passionate, how loyal, how determined or adventurous or vibrant – if you’re a stone overweight, no one will ever find you desirable.”
What alarmed Michelle most was the fact that a man with a 13-year-old daughter would have the audacity to speak so poorly of a woman.
So she challenged Simon to instill confidence in his young daughter and to teach her to love her body.
“Praise her intellect, and her creativity. Push her to push herself and to be fearless. Give her the tools to develop a bomb-proof sense of self-esteem so that if (I’ll be kind. I’ll say “if”.) the time comes that a small, unhappy man attempts to corrode it, she can respond as I do now.”
Very aware of the fact that she does not look like a size 0 supermodel, she makes it clear that she is confident in the way she looks and, more importantly, she is confident in who she is.
“I like the way I look. I don’t look like Charlize Theron, and that’s fine – I look like me, and I like myself,” she said.
And that’s what really matters.